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Old 11-09-2007, 02:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
Jagscupid
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I'm on the writer's side as well, but, that said, I thought this article was pretty funny

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The Mayor of Television


How “House” would handle the writers strike
Despite seeming progress, negotiations break down suddenly, violently and mysteriously just before every act break, until the strike is miraculously resolved in the show’s finale. Along the way, House makes a number of sexist remarks to Cuddy that sound mean-spirited but actually mean, “Let’s get it on, already!”

How “The Office” would handle the writers strike
With Dwight as self-proclaimed mediator, talks are handled more incompetently than heretofore considered humanly possible, but due to the show’s core good-heartedness, no one’s job is lost.

How “Dexter” would handle the writers strike
Those involved in the talks go missing for months, until their dismembered corpses are found stuffed in garbage bags on the ocean floor. Once the identities of the victims are revealed, the community rallies behind their killer.

How “Tell Me You Love Me” would handle the writers strike
Between rounds of joyless yet explicit lovemaking, the writers and producers whine to one another about how disconnected from the relationship they feel.

How “Curb Your Enthusiasm” would handle the writers strike
Larry manages to offend all sides – writers because he doesn’t actually write scripts, producers because he takes a writing credit anyway, and religious people because of the unbelievably crass, self-absorbed and blasphemous things he says.

How “The Sopranos” would handle the writers strike
In the middle of a scene, the screen would go black, and that would be it.

How “The Closer” would handle the writers strike
Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson is brought in as mediator, and reduces both sides to gibbering idiots confessing that they don’t deserve to be earning the kind of money that they make.

How “nip/tuck” would handle the writers strike
With the strike entering its fifth month, everyone in Hollywood has plenty of time to indulge in and recuperate from plastic surgery, so Sean and Christian find themselves waist deep in the liposucted fat of studio and network executives.

How “WWE Smackdown!” would handle the writers strike
With a bloody cage match, naturally. Ratings go through the roof.

How “Meerkat Manor” would handle the writers strike
Everyone dies of snakebites and attacks from rival feral camps.

How “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” would handle the writers strike
By eviscerating the producers’ bitter hypocrisy in preaching belt-tightening while personally getting richer.

How “The Colbert Report” would handle the writers strike
By applauding the producers’ bitter hypocrisy in preaching belt-tightening while personally getting richer.

How “How I Met Your Mother” would handle the writers strike
They never meet the mother, and never resolve the strike.
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