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Gayer than Gay
Helloo this is the same person that posted before when jewels and Lewymocha Old Style or whoever got in that fight about me being gay or something. I don't know what happened there, but whatever. I haven't been on here in awhile, so I thought I would respond.
Everybody was like "There is no problem with being gay! You should not be ashamed of yourself for that". Well I am, because it's totally against my beliefs. And I mean completely against my beliefs. I know how wrong it is, but I can't stop.
I started being gay when I was 7, in my first year at school when I kissed my friend Danny on the playground a lot. Ever since, I've had feelings for guys. My ex-best friend knows. We're not best friends anymore because of it. My parents kind of know, but they don't really.
I'm gay because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I'm gay. There isn't one second of the day that goes by where I don't think about guys sexually. It's just how it happens. I just develop feelings for guys so easily.
I know killing myself is not the answer. I don't think I'd kill myself, because I'm a pussy. But when I'm mad at myself, I hit myself repeatedly on the head with "an object" and go to sleep. If someone asks, I tell them I slipped in the shower, because it's so embarassing. It's not like I'd cut myself though, because I'm afraid of sharp objects and blood and shit like that. It would be so much better if I was dead though. I try all the time to change my ways, but I just can't. I'm destined for hell. I try to correct it, but it just won't happen.
Also, I believe that all the things that happen wrong in my life are because I'm gay. Different things happen every year. Like in 2004-2005, nothing bad happened when I would think sexually of guys. In 2005, my cousin would become sicker each time I thought sexually of a guy. In 2007, I would lose friendships everytime I thought sexually of a guy. And now in 2008, I think that pattern is that something bad will happen to my family or someone I care for if I think sexually of a guy. 8 bad things have already happened on the fourth day of the year.
Screw life, dude.
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