Possibly Pregnant Avril Lavigne Not Pregnant Says Avril Lavigne
January 28th, 2008 at 15:30 by Stuart Heritage
Imagine the glorious baby that would be created if obnoxious pop brat Avril Lavigne ever had a baby with syrup-faced goon Deryck Whibley.
And imagine it hard, because you won't get to see it for a while. Although reports have been fizzing around claiming that Avril Lavigne is expecting her first baby, Avril's reps have dashed everyone's hopes by claiming that none of it is true.
But, hey, at least now that she probably isn't pregnant Avril Lavigne gets to remain the cleverest and most mature person in her family. Unless she has a pet gerbil, of course.
That Avril Lavigne, she's always copying everyone's ideas isn't she? After the storm last year over the fact that her songs Girlfriend and I Don't Have To Try sounded an awful lot like songs by other people, it's been claimed that Avril Lavigne has now decided to rip off Nicole Kidman's idea of letting a man's sperm penetrate the cell membrane of her oocyte up the ampulla of her fallopian tube and fusing together to create life.
In other words, some people think that Avril Lavigne is pregnant. If we were Nicole Kidman we'd sue.
However, even though reports have been buzzing around about Avril Lavigne's supposed pregnancy thanks to her husband Deryck Whibley apparently telling people that he was excited about becoming a dad, Avril herself has denied the claims. Well, she got her publicist to deny the claims - we're still not entirely sure that Avril's capable of stringing more than three or four words together at once by herself. Anyway:
Lavigne’s representative has dismissed the reports, saying: “It’s not true.”
So it was all a great big false alarm. Still, at least this way Avril Lavigne won't have to balance her newborn baby with her long-held hobbies of drinking to excess, writing songs in aneurysm-inducing text-speak and leading Britney Spears astray. So it's probably for the best.
Still, at least we know that Avril Lavigne definitely isn't pregnant despite all the reports.
If we were Eva Longoria we'd sue.
Source:
Possibly Pregnant Avril Lavigne Not Pregnant Says Avril Lavigne - Hecklerspray: Music, Movies, TV, Celebs, Games and Gossip
Stuart Heritage sure did spend a lot of time looking up a Science book. Kudos...