[bunny]

Don't worry no 40 pages to come only two updates

Last shot at love

When I looked at her I felt the silent of the room coming slightly into my body. All thought I knew I was save I looked the door behind me. This moment was mine, all I wanted was to make it last forever. If someone would interrupt it, I might never get this chance again. Her soft pale skin was just as it used to be. Her hair, was just as it supposed to be. Why did it all looked so innocence, while the truth was so hard to take. I sat down in the chair next to her. I tried to look at her, but was so hard knowing what she was going through, knowing what would happen next. This wasn’t what she wanted. This wasn’t the way we had planned it out. We supposed to lay in bed, hug each other until midnight then just whisper sweet words until day light. But non of it was real, non of this would ever happen again. She just laid there, hopeless unknowing what will happen next. All I wished, all I ever wish was for her to come back home. So I could love her, show her the beauty in live. My hand was slowly going over the sheets, reaching out her hand. But when I touched it, it was nothing like it used to be. Her hand was cold and raw, in stead of warm and gentle and always finding away to touch me. Only the thought of her hands touching my body made my heart light up. The perfection of her love was so strong. If she knew all I wanted was to sit down in silent, only one last touch could make a change, or just a kiss could make me back up. But that was all past, if she would only recognise me for one minute. I would have the chance to tell her I loved her, and she is the only good thing in my life. That even when she didn’t noticed it I would be there for her. That it didn’t matter to me she wouldn’t remember who I was, because all that matter to me is my love for her.

But that chance I would never have. There wasn’t even a chance that she would open her eyes again. Only a monitor was keeping her heart beating. She never wanted to live like this. In all the 60 years I knew her she had made that perfectly clear to me. ‘Don’t make me live like a plant’ But now I was sitting here it was so much harder then I thought it would be. This was the woman I loved for so many years. I couldn’t look t her seeing her so broken, seeing all the old memoirs passing by, one by one in front of my eyes. The smiles, the tears, the pain, the love, the hate, the fights, the making ups. Never I will forget one of them, they all mean the world to me. Here I was, in a building filled with pain, love and hope with only white walls keeping it together. Walls that tell stories of the new born and the old ones left do die. This was just an other story, just a normal story of the old one to die. But it was harder to take, there is no moving on in this story. How could you move on, while a part of you is laying here, innocence, but yet so fragile. I stood up and sat down on the bed. Bent over to her and kissed her on the head. I tried to say the words, just quite words like ‘I love you’ but they got lost before they got out. Lost in the cold air of the room. I took her head in both of my hands, bent over and pushed my face against hers. Tears quietly run down my face without making a sound, while I tried to hide them on her chest.

‘’My angle, our road had been long, with many turns, many crossroads. This wasn’t the way we wanted to end it. This wasn’t they way is supposed to turn out. You must know I love you. Your love is all I carry with me until its my time. And then my sweet heart. We will meet again. Our love will be reunited. For just a short moment our hearts has to be separated. But one day it will beat as one, just as it was meant to be. Now don’t cry for me, I’ll be fine with all the love you gave me. I will be able to carry one until it’s my time. I hope you’ll be there, waiting for me. Taking my hand as you always do, giving me your love. And it will be all fine as it should be.’’

I stood up from the bed and walked to the monitor.

‘’I love you, you’re always in my heart. I know this wasn’t what you wanted.’’

I took a deep breath and looked her one more time, such a perfect woman, why is the truth so hard.

‘’You’re the good part of me, you’re my everything, I’ll see you when its my time. I love you.’’