[elastics.]

Completely confused and feeling dirty because she was married, Avril backed away, "Evan..." she said softly while wiping her lips, "what about your girlfriend, Nicole?"

"She's a bitch," he scowled, "it was always Jeremy this Jeremy that...fucker."

"Oh, is that it?" Avril asked, not wanting to get in the middle of the notorious J-E-N love triangle.

And, yes, Jen the other women, but there can't be a love square..why OH WHY?!

Jks, actually.

See, Nicole was a women Evan met through a friend and eventually they became a couple, but during that time Evan's bandmate, Jeremy Faccone, had a crush on Nicole. And, apparently, they fooled around when Evan was off jacking off with a ruler (even though Jeremy really should be the one masturbating...he likes it, yeah)

So Evan found out and got mad and made Nicole make chocolate chip cookies for him and say, "yeahaw! Lima is the capital of Peru!!!!!"

But Jeremy knew that the capital of Honduras was Tecgucigalpa, so naturally, Nicole gave him a burnt marshmallow. Evan got jealous and shoved cookie dough in N's mouth, but Jeremy kissed Nicole in his mind and Evan got jealous.

Things have been rocky between Evan and Jeremy ever since. So rawr.

"Avril, please, I've always loved you."

Shock coming into to her, she contorted her face as she twirled the pink segment of her hair, "I know - platonically. I have a husband."

"You only like him cuz he's Bush and a major world power, but he's only that sometimes!"

"No, that was just a freak accident," Avril explained, "listen, Ev, it'll be alright."

"AVRIL RAAAMMMM LAVIGNE!!" he screeched loudly, "listen to me!!"

Quickly, he slapped her across the face.

"Um, ok," Avril stuttered as she took a few steps back and rubbed her chin, "go on."

Evan glared at Avril for a few seconds before sitting on a plush red chair.

"Mrs. Deryck Whibley, I...I'm..sorry, but I."

"What Evan? I don't have all day!" Avril said, obviously pissed because she didn't want to spend the Grammy's in a bathroom with Evan Taubenfeld.

"I, Av, I need support...I have...AIDs.."