And then again really nothing important at all, but I just need to get it all down and out so I can put it out of my brain.

Wellll Sunday I went to the county fair with my sisters + papa. It was all fun and games, we kicked it off with a demolition derby and then headed off to see the goats and bunnies. Then for the second demo derby apparently my dad had brought some rum along with him to the fair so he was drunk from then on for the rest of the night. It sucked. Basically ruined...

Yeah we're officially losing our house.
Apparently my way of coping is to spend the little money I have on Abbey Dawn.
At this rate I will be in debt until I am 70.
My dad's debt will be passed down the family to me.
And even if that doesn't happen, student loans will get me since the lovely government gave me no free money for school.
Rawr but I've complained enough.
Stay positive stay positive stay positive.
College in less than a month wooot! ...

when I turn around!
haha no jk.
But gaaah seriously.
My sister has now bought an apartment and is moving out.
WTF.
I don't know what my dad will do with both of us gone.
I mean ever since my mom died he's been saying "I need a companion" "I feel lonely" although I think that's just his lame excuse for hitting on girls (girls that are basically my age, might I add)
But if that really is the case and he was saying that while my sister and...

I imagined myself ending things with him. Just ending them once and for all, and leaving for college in August and moving on. And I felt so damn liberated.

That is such a problem.

What is going wrong that LEAVING HIM would make me feel liberated? Why am I not facing it? Why isn't it obvious to me?? It should be but I don't really know what to do here. He's such a great guy. Or is he? I don't even know anymore.

I want to believe he's a good guy because that's...

I should probably start out with a little bit of history. We all know how HUUGE Youtube is, I mean if you think Youtube is not a popular site you are just in denial. Well, close to a year ago I began to follow an artist named Julia Nunes on Youtube. (If you're not familiar with who that is LOOK HER UP!!! Trust me) So basically she just records videos of herself doing covers and a few original songs and uploads them to Youtube. It started out as just a hobby for her but she watched as her hits...