Dah Innre Workingz of God...

[ehvox512]

dedikated w-pashun to mie abzieh

"Avriliah Chex Inne"

Avriliah called 911 on her mobile, which luckily todae was IN RANGE, not lyke usualie.

Dah reezon she kalled dat no. was coz she was on the verge of a Fatal Nervous Breakdown. That dude Araim

was on her case again... poundering her down with huge packages of crazy letters, whacked-out instrumental jam Silver CD Platterz (at least he started filling the entire CD with Blak Magik Sharpie now... she sure did luv her Blak Magik Sharpie, yah...)

So, she chekk'd inne...

TO DAH MOTHER-FUCKIN' PSYCH WARD!!!!


- fin -


that was my First Avriliah/Araim storie. There will be more, if you lyk...

lemon me no.


- jake

[ehvox512]

+ =



"The Home Office Grl..."

Araim + Avriliah step 2.

after avrilitah "tex-mexitah" got out of the psych ward, she felt much better. her saving grace in the hospital was her fuzzy pink Hello Kitty bed room slipperz, though. if it weren't for those, she'd have gone a.w.o.l., fer sure.

after that, she finished her Fourth Album, which flopped! It only sold 750,000 copies in a year, world-wide and not a single on it charted above 90 on the Billboard Pop-Crakz.

then, out of nowhere, Araim, who had been poundering her down again... but sweetly and nicely this time... prodoosn'g a whole new book, The Second Avrilitah Ramonyte Lavignaiteh Book -
"Italianate RiehTard Out Kroozin'..."
in this book, which uses the names Avril * Aras, the opening scene depiktz Avril Lavigne, in her usual resplendent glory... zippin' down the Sunset Strip in her brand-new silver Ferrari Gran Prix race-car limo: breakin' dah speed limit, blowin' traffik litez, krankering NOFX, smoking Salemz,and pounding ice-cold Finnish Vodka Triplez out of a thermos...

Then she turns left on Pico, pushes the pedal to the medal, and maxes out the Needle! Losing control of the wheel, she smashes into a tele-fone pole... but Deerest Folks - please do not worry about our Fikshunal Avril that Aras created... the Limo was not only Armored, but the air-bag deployed.

and the story continued... so, now Aras * Avril were a Professional Couple, and their favorite thing to do was plow each other down On Top Of The Copy Machine in The Home Office, while Avriliatah screamed:

"HOME OFFICE SEX IS SO HOT HOT HOT, FUCKIN' GEE-SPOT!!!"

- FIN - PT. 2 : ARAIM * AVRILIAH
TO CORRESPOND WITH AUTHOR, JAKE N. TRUE: ehvox512@gmail.com

bye...

[ehvox512]

"Corporal Broonie Dawson the Second Goes To War..."

We were awl Expekting Itte. Just perhaps not so soon. What am I talking about?

China Invading Amerikah and taking this whack'd-out WW III of ours which actually began during the Clinton Years... to an entirely new level.

The date was 9.9.14. Avriliah & Araim were Pie-In-Duh-Sky In a Mansion on York Road in T.O. by den, and Avriliah had just gotten pregnant by "Al," as araim liked to kall himself from tym 2 tym.

In addition... Al had skored big with his band, The Amber Baltix. They were all in their fifties - famous T.O. Progressive Rockerz from the 1970's, '80's, 90's & '00's. And Al was only 43 himself. Yes, that is incredibly old & ancient, even, to become a rock star when you're around the big Four OH OH OH, but hey... it beatz a STIK IN DAH EYE, eh?

Avriliatah, three months along... got the Notice from her Dad: He was Seriouslie Rekwesting that Ari Enlist in the Canadian Military. John Lavigne had done three tours in Cambodia back in the day, supporting those mother-fukkn' ameri-kuntz, and now it was tyme to help them again.

SECTION TWO OF THIS STORIE

sect. 2 nex' tym...

bi bi, an' good nite!

- jake

[Av+Ev]

this is quite interesting.

[ehvox512]

Thank U, Av+Ev... 4 being the first 2-2-2 respond. You shall win a prize in about a week, week * a half... if i can figure out what to give you + how to deliver it... just chill, and believe me when i say:
"One Prize for Av+Ev, kumm'n Uppe!"

And Now... Presenting Part Two Of:

"Corporal Broonie Dawson The Second Goes To War..."

After a sit-down tete-ah-tete with Mr. John, Ar decided with no hesitation that he would enlist. He kikk'd himself for not thinking of it himself, but since the Chinkie Invasion was mostly an Amerikan Problem, and he was now Firmly Enskonc'd in Kan-Ont-T.O., York Road... what in dah FUCK, did he care about Ameri-Kunt?



<just kiddin' Amerikah, I luv yah, I am an Ameri-kunt'z myself... I just like Raggin' on mie Homeland from tym-2-tym... kay?>

Dah kwestion was... which branch would Araim enlist in? After much deliberation, he decided: Air Force, coz he had always wanted to fly, but John L. told him he'd never sit in a jet with his 'blind-as-a-bat-eye-hope-u-have-sonar-to-go-wit'-yorr-blindness' poor eyesight. So, on second thought, he said... Kanuckian NAVY soundz good... I hear they have good food * kall their underwear 'skivviez.' John Lavignioh commended Araim on his choice, saying the Army or Marines would have been tough.


{9 Months Later...}


With a three-month-old baby in the krib, a l'il bouncing boy the couple named Robbie...

Our Robbie -
A Song by Avriliah for
Rob + Ar (my boi * my manneh)

Our little boy is very cute
in his tiny baby blue suit
i love to feed him on my breast
while my husband does his best...
he does his best to keep me comfie
while our kid growz up real fast
all i have to say is robbie
is one dude who is gonna last!

now, araim was off on his initial mission... departing from Vancouver Port, down to San Francisco Bay, in the CRS Lord Van Cougar-Kouvre... to assist the Amerikan NAVY in driving the Chinese out of Friskoe... the U.S. Army * Marines were already fightin' their asses off to keep San Fran + Oakland + that whole region out of Chink handz... and so far, it was a losing battle.

The Chinese had already taken San Diego * Los Angeles. And there, folks, we shall leave you hangin'...

one final note to my Responder - Av+Ev - I have two minutes, so here is my thing:

here are your choices for A Prize:

a) an original Storie, just for you
b) an original Piece of Musik, just for you
c) an arrangement of that song, "Our Robbie," which I will sing for now... and sum dae... when I finally meet Avvie-Abbie-Apie-D'wn... I'll get her to sing wit' me, we shall harmonize, and you'll get a #1 of 1 Studio Mix of "Our Robbie."

So, just pop in a, b, or c... and nex' tym i'll get to figurin' out just how to send it to yah... do you have a PO Box? or an email address you don't mind giving to me in my Private Message area? You can always just make up a new email on one of the free places, like Google gmail... just for this, and i'll send you either a .doc or .mp3.

ok, let me no.

-jake

[Av+Ev]

B OR C PLEEZ I LUV YOOU send it to me here on mie profile

[ehvox512]

OK, Av+Ev... yer sayin' eye ken send you an .mp3 or .wav in a Private Message to 'Av+Ev'?

Is it really that simple?

Weeeeel... NO PROBZ!!! But give me a coupla daze... believe it or not, I am in the PSYCH WARD Mie-Self rite now... long story, which I shall share with you personally, Av+Ev... and perhaps with e'er'one if I end up getting a few more friends on here...

BTW... for awl udderz who are reeding but not responding... I understand that I am:
a> New
b> Diff'rent
c> Most Likely, much older than most of you (I'm 38 now... I know there are sum mid-aged ladies on the Fan Fict. Forum... I'd luv to get to no yah...)
d> weird + powerful, etc.

So, just be. i luv yah awl, simplie coz You Luv Abzie!

well, gottah run... i'll be bak soon, perhaps not tonite, but def. tomorrah...

bye.

- jake

[Av+Ev]

yes. share with me your story of your time in the psych ward because i am your friend and yes send me a .mp3

[ehvox512]

hello, deerestz. well, i sent yah a PM, av+ev... but i didn't get around to the Psych Ward Storie... i'll share wit' all, just a bit...

i am 16 yrs. diagnosed with bi-polar/manic-depression, and for about 12 of those years, it was PURE HELL ON EARTH!!!!!!

i wouldn't wish what I went thru during that time on my Worst Enemy... no way, dudez... it was only my Purest Inner Strength and Endless Prayerz that got me thru that Decade +...

so, recently, after 3 + years of HEAVEN on EARTH... no symptoms, no episodez, no hospitalz... i went nutz again... i'll tell yah more nex' tym, but i DO WANT TO BE PUBLIK ABOUT DIS, AND I KNOW IT INTERESTS EVERYBODY... we are awl MENTALLY ILL THESE DAYS, and NO ONE TROOLIE UNDERSTANDS IT!!!!

eye, however, having lived wit' it for so long, have MANY INSIGHTS, and I MUST BE PUBLIK ABOUT IT, and EYE MIGHT AS WELL START WITH MY FAVORITE CROWD - AVRILITEZ, AVRILITEZ, AVRILITEZ!!!!!!!

:l oveye::lov eye::lovey e: :l oveye::lov eye::lovey e: :l oveye::lov eye::lovey e: :l oveye::lov eye::lovey e: :l oveye::lov eye::lovey e: :l oveye::lov eye::lovey e: :l oveye::lov eye::lovey e: :l oveye::lov eye::lovey e: :l oveye::lov eye::lovey e:

there you all are... at an AVRIL SHOW.... THAT'Z WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE TO HER, the FIRST SEVEN ROWS... SHE CAN'T SEE ANYTHING PAST THAT, COZ SHE"S AS BLIND AS A BAT W-OUT HER SPEX... rite?

l'y'uve y'awl,

jake - aras - petie - true - ule - KOOL!!!!!!!!!!

[ehvox512]

"The Battle of Frisco Bay, Pt. I..."

Araim, a.k.a "Corporal Broonie Dawson Yukon the Thirty-Seventh," was an Ensign First Class on the CRS Lord Van Cougar, and they just jetted under the Golden Gate Bridge, in a direct assault on the three Chinese Navy Destroyerz they had been tracking since just South of Seattle Port.

Broonie, as Ensign, was assigned to the Gunnery Detail, and was the trigger operator on a 155mm Akwa-Howitzer Killer Smasher Sea Cannon. His two Kanukian Navy loaders were Howie & Dick, and the three Shell Stackers in his Unit, Ensigns Third Class, were Davy & Wavy Gravy Stevie & Jerry. Those five were all from Western Canada... Saskatton, Saskatchewan or West, and Broonie was the only Easterner, but such things didn't matter much to Canadians... they were just glorious and happy to be Canucks.

After two hours of constant firing, Broonie's fingers * hands * forearms were plenty sore, and his lungs were rough from all of the gunpowder smoke, but the three Chinese Destroyers were down. The rest of the Allied Navy - including the USS New York, HMS Winston Churchill, and CRS First Nation VANCOUVER... took down the rest of the Chinese Fleet in the entire area, giving the Americans & their Allies their first Tru Victorie since the 9.9.14 Invasion Date.

It was now 6.5.16.

THREE INFINITE CHEERS FOR BROONIE AND HIS NAVY PALZ, COZ NOW THE TROOP CARRIERZ WOULD BE ABLE TO LAND MILLIONS OF GROUND TROOPZ (ARMY & MARINES) TO DEFEND SAN FRAN, OAKLAND, BERKELEY, AND THE SILICON VALLEY... IT WAS ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT TO KEEP THE CHINKIEZ OUT OF SILICON VALLEY, AS AWL THE WORLDS TECH SEKRETZ WERE STORED THERE...

OK, BROONIE MAH MAN... IF YOU ONLY KNEW WHAT YOUR WIFE AVRILIATAH WAS DOING ON THE HOME-FRONT, CALLING EVAN UP EVERY NITE, TXT'NG HIM CONSTANTLIE, AND I'M-ING EVAN T. LIKE SHE WAS A FEMALE PEDOPHILE STALKER!!!

ohhhh, nooooooo..... is avriliah gonna be tempted? is she already tempted? IS SHE GONNA FALL?


WEEEEEEL, DEEREST REEDERZ... WHETHER OR NOT THIS STORY TURNS INTO A BEST-SELLING EVRIL-AVRIL-ARAIM TRIUMVIRATE BIZARRE LUV TRIANGLE EPIC... IS UP TO YOU...

POOL, POLL:

WHO WANTS AVRIL TO CHEAT ON ARAIM, AND HOOK UP WITH EVAN T.? (OK, AWL O; YOU... I ALREADY KNOW DAT)
WHO WANTS AVRIL TO CHEAT WITH EVAN, AND THEN WHEN BROONIE KUMZ HOME FROM WAR, THEY HAVE MANY ORGIES AND THREE SOMES? (DISCUSS AMONGST YOURSELEZ... I DON'T KNOW HOW SICK & PERVERTED Y'AWL ARE...)

WHO WANTS AVRILIAH TO STAY PURE & FAITHFUL TO CIVIL-SERVANT, FIGHTING MAN, NAVAL WARRIOR BROONIE?

(HMMM... I THINK THERE ARE SIMPLY TOO MANY EVRILITES ON HERE TO GIVE THAT ONE MUCH OF A CHANCE, BUT I WILL BE PONDERING THE POSSIBILITES MYSELF, AND SEE IF ANYONE ELSE CHIMEZ IN WITH AN OPINION AT THIS POINT... THIS COULD BE your STORIE AS MUCH AS IT IS MINE, AND IF YOU MAKE SUGGESTIONS, I WILL MOST CERTAINLY LISTEN TO THEM...

OK, BYE...

[ehvox512]

while avriliah was goin' crazy with lust for her old boyfriend, ev'n... she was also busy writing lyrics for her fifth album, which she was determined to get back on the top of the chartz with. remember, her fourth, here in fiction land,,, didn't do so well, although we ALL KNOW in real life, it will kill, rite?

here is her latest lyric:

"You're Not Alone"
by Avriliah (c) 2016 ONYX Skull-Bonez Rex Records & Music Publishing, Inc. Awl Ritez Reserv'd. Used By Permission.

you may be angry - you want to shout
you get so pissed - there's no way out
you're at the edge - about to leap
you were on top - now it's the bottom of the heap

well, i've been there - in fact i'm there rite now
when in the past i used to wear a crown
so what, that's life & you're not alone
since 9-11 our spirits have groaned...

don't you run away...
get in there and fight!!!
one day you'll spread your wings
and fly away thru the night!!!

CHORUS:
you're not alone...
what's that you're feeling?
is it anger, is it fear?
don't be shy in shedding a tear...
you're not alone...
get back to dreaming...
hold on to what you're feeling,
then process thoughts, and let it go...
just let it go, and know...
you're not alone...

you've been thru the wringer
life has acted liked a stinger
and injected all it's poison
in your tender heart

now yo9u're just so angry
you can't hold it in
if you don't let it out
your mind will reel & spin...

pre-chorus
chorus
bridge:
you're not alone
i'm with you now
inside your head
inside your heart

chorus
chorus
etc.

[Fabiana Rox My Sox]

Lmfao. Lol. I hate those random fonts. :S