Avril and Deryck

[xx Leila xx]

I couldn't come up with a better title, so sue me! My last fanfic sort of self-destructed so I'm trying again...I hope this one is better.

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“Come on,” said Deryck softly. “Let’s go home, Mrs. Whibley.” A big smile spread over my face. Me and my husband of only eight hours were alone in a tent. The reception for our wedding had just ended. It had taken much longer than we had expected– Deryck and I were finally ready to go home, but it was a little past eleven p.m.
“Okay,” I said softly. “I’m exhausted.” Deryck wound his arm around me.
“Well, you can sleep once we get home,” he said. Deryck and I walked to the front of the estate that our wedding had taken place in. I looked down and saw white rose petals covering the ground. Deryck picked up a whole rose and placed the stem behind my ear. I smiled.
“How does it look?” I giggled.
Deryck kissed my forehead. “You look beautiful, honey.”
A white stretch limo was waiting for us outside the estate. Deryck held the passenger door open for me while I got in. I smiled to myself. Hugging me, complimenting me, and holding the door open for me...Deryck was the image of the perfect man for me. Now that we were married, I didn’t think I could be any happier. Deryck got in and closed the door.
The driver of the limo didn’t say a word. He had picked up Deryck from our house that morning, and had been told that he was to drive us back to our home. While driving, he kept looking at Deryck and I in the rearview mirror. We were cuddling and kissing. I knew he was disgusted with us, but I couldn’t help it. Before meeting Deryck, I had never felt truly in love. Now that I was, it was impossible for me not to shower Deryck with affection.

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Let me know if it's no good...not gonna waste my time on a flop.

[citygal3]

i like it

[citygal3]

does it have any forthcoming action? lol, like any problems and stuff. that makes it intersting. haha

[ginger]

Awwwww Deryck's such a gentleman.

What a sweet story.

It's good! Keep going!

[lininhaav41]

i think its cool
keep writing

[SweetElf]

nice!

[xx Leila xx]

Originally Posted by citygal3

does it have any forthcoming action? lol, like any problems and stuff. that makes it intersting. haha

well it's not really a story if there's not a problem is it? :P
i'm sure i'll come up with something pretty bad, but i have to decide what it is...ok update:

Back at home, Deryck held the door open for me once again. I climbed out of the car. “Come here, Av.” He held out his arms. I stared at Deryck. I had heard of the tradition of a man carrying his newlywed wife over the threshold of the house after their wedding, but the idea of Deryck doing that to me made me think he might have completely lost his mind. I only weigh about 105 or 110 pounds, but Deryck weighed ten pounds more than me at most. I’m 5'2", Deryck is 5'5".
“Are you crazy?!” I asked him. Deryck’s smile disappeared in a flash. He put his arms down.
“Do you not want me to?”
“I want you to, but, aren’t I too heavy?”
“Av, you hardly weigh anything,” he laughed. “I may not be big, but I can carry you. I promise, I won’t drop you.”
Deryck had never, ever broken a promise to me. I knew he wasn’t about to start now. I took a deep breath and said, “Okay.” I allowed Deryck to sweep me into my arms. He supported my neck and upper back with his left arm, cradling my head in his arm. His other hand was slipped under my knees. I felt so in love. I wrapped my arms around his neck.
Deryck carried me up the walkway to our large Beverly Hills home. He did a gymnast-like feat to accomplish pulling his keys out and unlocking the door with his right arm, while still supporting my legs with it. I laughed at him extensively while he tried to get us inside the house. He finally got the door open and carried me into the foyer.
Placing me down, Deryck looked rather pissed off. “Goddamned keys,” he muttered. “Why do we have to put so many locks on the house?” I ran my fingers through Deryck’s hair to calm him down.
“You know why, Deryck. The thought of someone we don’t want in here getting in terrifies me.”
“I know, baby. You’re lucky I don’t know how to say no to you and your crazy ideas.” I giggled.

i guess a potential problem might be some be get right down to the "forthcoming action" immediately, i prefer to build up a story.

[panic]

good update!!!

[waitingxforxyou]

I like it so far, keep going!

[missdaydreamer]

nice work keep going