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"What test?" Avril asked.
"You, you're well...I can't explain it right this second. Just go and enjoy the Grammy's, Avey."
"No," Avril put her foot down, "you will tell me this fucking instant!!! I've had enough of the bullshit."
Avril was especially mad because usually what Evan said didn't involve a wild goose chase. And, really, she wanted to know what was up. Maybe he was on heroin and well, fucked a squirrell.
"Well, some people have AIDs.." Evan started.
"Right, like all the characters in Rent..."
"No-uh," Evan corrected, "full-blown aiidddddddddssssssssssss."
Whoa, Avril thought, Evan interested in musicals?
"Stop it, Ev, just tell me."
"Ok, fine what I said before was just to set you off. Really, you're the motherfucking princess."
"Well, duh...I said that in my song!!!"
"No, it's your destiny. You have to be a...a you have to lead a double-life as a pop star and worker at a McDonald's."
Crap, Avril thought. She had a friend once named Chris that got hung in a McDonald's by a radical group - she definitely did not want to get into that mess again.
"What does that have to do with being a motherfucking princess?"
"You have to be the slutty worker."
"Um, why?"
"SO YOU CAN SAVE THE WORLD!! Coz otherwise, the wise magician will hurt you and you'll have to be a lil Canadian girl with this all erased."
Avril definitely didn't think that that good happen - it was so absurd. But, at the same time, she was getting somewhat sick of the "being famous" thing. Flashing cameras, poppernazi, constant stress, writing cramps (too many autographs!), disses and jabs at her personality...all too much. Still, she wanted to hang on to it because it helped her influence the world she lived in. Avril didn't want to just be Avril Lavigne. She wanted to be so much more.
"That could never happen," Avril said, with less confidence than she expected out of her voice.
"Yes, it can. Have you heard of Britney Spears?"
"No," Avril answered honestly.
"Exactly. She, she was, apparently, a popstar, but then she got trashy and divorced this dude named, uh, K-Fed?" Evan muttered flusterdly, "so it made sense that she went back, but you, Avril - you are ready to make this choice."
What the fuck is Evan on about? Avie thought. It was almost as if Ashton Kutcher was making a new edition of his show - "Punk'd at teh Grammy's, yo...AND OTHER MAJOR AWARD CEREMONIES~!!"
"I guess McDonald's is better than fried chicken ass..." Av grumbled.
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