The Best Damn Thing

[elastics.]

Soo, in an attempt to get the fanfiction section buzzing - enter the best damn thing! It's an experiment in trying to bring people together with one thing.

Basically, this is an add-on story. This differs from the "Finish the Sentence" thread because here it's expected that a significant chunk is added so we can create a Bandaids story.

Let's get started

---

Once upon a time, there lived a girl with loud, vibrant blonde hair. She had quite a predicament: her boyfriend, Deryck, didn't like her colour hair. So, she decided to slice it up.

Little did she know, however, what Der was doing at that very moment...

[O Captain My Captain]

"AVRIL!" Deryck threw down the rasor, obviously making no progress. "You said you didn't want hairy legs in bed, so i'm humoring you! But, come on, help me! I've never shaved my legs before!"

Deryck waited, but Avril didnt respond. Frustrated, he put more shaving cream on his legs. "Ok, i'll try it without you!" He ran the rasor down his leg, hoping to get a clean streak. It worked. Surprised, he ran two fingers down the smooth spot on his leg. "Hey... that feels kind of good."

"What are you doing?" Avril stormed into the room and stared at her half-naked husband.

"Humoring you," he told her. "And wha the hell did you do to your hair?"

"I humored you! And you do know i was kidding, right?"

"Well, i meant have a professional do it. My gawd!"

Avril stared at him suspiciously. "Are you drunk?"

"Yes."

"Well there's only one thing to do when you're drunk." Avril grabbed Derycks hand and pulled him into their bedroom.

[Major Tom]

She knelt down beside the bed and pulled out a box.

"Oh, wow," exclaimed Deryck, "it's Twister! Can I be the shoe?...or the airplane?"

Avril sighed as she opened the box and pulled out the colourful mat. "How many times do I have to tell you? There is no shoe or airplane in Twister, you're thinking of Risk!"

She laid the mat out on the floor and looked in the empty box. "Now, where are the dice?"

"Can I be the dice?" Deryck cheerfully asked.

[elastics.]

Of course, this game was not just the primary-coloured Twister of years prior - this was a hardcore mixture of a few games since Deryck had the tendency to steal or lose pieces of games.

So, once they got married, they created a game and if Deryck steals a piece, then he has to lick butter.

Also, this game was best played when both parties were drunk. It was even a part of the rules!

"You mean," Avril raised her eyebrows, "you want me to roll you?"

[O Captain My Captain]

This story is confusingggg...

[xXbasketcaseXx]

Her lover exclaimed "FUCK YEA!!!" And it was done, only he went on rolling out of the house into a busy street.

A nearby truck carrying marshmallows came driving by.

Because of the marshmallows overpowering the truck, the driver was practically blinded by them...

[O Captain My Captain]

Ok what the hell?
He rolls out the house into a marchmellow truck?
Um... we're going for realistic-ness here.
I think so, at least.

[Seyary_Minamoto]

And then he saw the truck, and got scared
"FUUUUUCK!!!" He screamed as the truck got closer