Avril in...Waiting For A Bus...

[Prudence]

This is really, really old - beginning of 2006 maybe even before that, i've only just found it again, and since theres this whole Evan/Deryck thing going at the moment i thought this would make both camps happy, lol this has a different "fictional" love interest. haha.

A friend of mine wrote the majority of it, we did it at school, our sense of humour is whacked, i will warn you...we're weird okay!

It's called Waiting For A Bus, I know random title and it is indeed a random story.

FYI I should tell you right now we've never finished the story, so it finishes on a cliffhanger, ohhh.

WAITING FOR A BUS

The story starts with a woman named Avril. She took the bus every day to get to work (yes even weekends, because work was her life, dont ask why she doesnt have a car and all that since shes so "famous"). On this particular day, Avril's alarm clock went off at 6:66am she need to be up at 6:30am and she was rather mad at said alarm clock and she mentally reminded herself to buy a new alarm clock. (wow thats a lot of 'alarm clocks' for one sentence!)

After a bland and boring breakfast consisting of a glass of water and a look around, Avril got dressed and walked down the road to the bus stop,, where she waited...

[this is where the title 'Waiting For A Bus' really shines]

The bus came and Avril got on, along with some high schooling emo wannabes,

and a man with a suspiously large package... (it's an actual package, like, a box- get your minds out of the gutter!)

Avril sat down next to the man with the package, and asked him what was in said package.

AVRIL: May I ask you what is in that delightful package of yours?

MAN: no.

AVRIL: and may I ask why not?

MAN: no.

AVRIL: well i'm gonna look anyway! *yoink* [takes package]

AVRIL: WAH!? My dear lord, it's a...... BOMB! A MOTHERFUCKING BOMB!

MAN: yes, a bomb. What are YOU going to do about it?

AVRIL: Um, well nothing I guess. I mean, I'm only one woman, so resistance is futile. I guess.

MAN: That's right, Avril.

AVRIL: How did you know my name?

MAN: I don't… you just told me MWAHAHAHA.

AVRIL: O…k…I don't believe I did but if you insist...

BOMB: Hey, it's kind of rude just to sit there talking to each other and ignoring little old me here.

AVRIL: What! Is that bomb talking?

BOMB: NO! I'm a ventriloquist's dummy!

AVRIL: Okay, no need for sarcasm.

BOMB: Sorry, I'm just sick of people thinking I don't exist, you know?

AVRIL: Yes I'm sure it would be quite tiresome.

MAN: *falls asleep*

AVRIL: *whispering* Hey, I don't suppose you would want to go out with me some time… like, on a date…

BOMB: Um okay, I think you are a new contender for 'random question of the year', but well firstly, you don't have to whisper because I drugged that guy, he'll be out for at least 2 hours… and secondly, um, I don't really see the point in going out with you, -not because you're ugly or anything, but it's just… *sigh* I am going to explode, remember?

AVRIL: Look, I don't discriminate against you just because you are going to die! That is sooo shallow!

BOMB: really? For real? *sniffs* that is so nice of you!

AVRIL: I think, that we should go on a date… right now!

BOMB: *confused* Now?

AVRIL: Yes now!

So Avril and the Bomb talked and ate and basked in each others company as most new couples do. And they found out that they had a lot in common. They were made for each other. Seeing as though Avril's ride to work was such a long one (8 hours) and The Bomb (or Bomby as Avril affectionately called him) wasn't due to go off for another 2 more hours, it was a match made in heaven and both enjoyed it immensely.

Then the Man. Woke up… He wanted to know what the hell was going on, and why he fell asleep for so long…

MAN: what the HELL is going on here?

BOMBY: Leave us alone, we are-

MAN: You are WHAT?

BOMBY: well we're-

MAN: You're WHAT! Tell me goddamn it!

BOMBY: I'm TRYING to tell you! Shut the hell up or so help me god I will explode the hell out of you!

MAN: *is silent*

BOMBY: That's better. Okay, now what I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted, was that Avril and I have fallen in love. That's right. The big 'L'.

MAN [to Avril]: is this true?

AVRIL: Yesum.

MAN [to Bomby]: But you're not even HUMAN!

BOMBY: Well if you were trying to hurt me, you suceeded *cries*

AVRIL: *comforts him*

MAN: Hey, this is a bit off topic here, but has anyone noticed that I don't have a real name?

AVRIL AND BOMBY: No, we've never noticed that before.

MAN: Well I wish I had one... *cries*

AVRIL: I now dub thee... GUY!

MAN/GUY: WOW! that's such a better name than Man... Guy, I like it!

GUY: Um, look you two *shuffles feet* I feel super bad about ragging on you guys' relationship, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

BOMBY: Um, you could deactivate me, I mean, lets not forget that I AM a dangerous bomb that is going to explode in approximately 1 hour and 46 minutes!

GUY: Jeez, I said HELP not bloody save your life, I'm not Jesus!

AVRIL: *sniff sniff* Oh Bomby! I love you! I don't want you to explode and kill us all!

BOMBY: Me neither Avril, me neither.

BOMBY: Say Avril, I've been thinking....

AVRIL: What have you been thinking about my love?

BOMBY: Us

AVRIL: Oh, us that's one of my favourite topics you know

BOMBY: Yes Avril, I know it is and so I have a very important question to ask you.

AVRIL: And what might that question be?

BOMBY: It might just change you life Avvy-Kins.

AVRIL: So can you hurry up and ask me then?

GUY: Oh my God! Don't tell me you're-

BOMBY: Yes, yes I am Guy.

AVRIL: Huh? Wha? Gah? Zuh?

BOMBY: Just joshin'!

MAN: Gonna Say...

BOMBY: Did I say you were in this converstion Guy? Anyways Avril, Oh 'apple' of my eye, could you 'pear' with me for a second? You see I love you 'berry' much, and-

AVRIL: Okay, enough with the fruit jokes already!

BOMBY: Sorry Pumpkin (he he he vegetable joke) I guess what I'm trying to ask is Will you marry me?

AVRIL: *crying with joy* Oh yes! Of course I will marry you!... if only you weren't exploding in 69 minutes! *sobs in sadness*

GUY: Do you mind if I butt in? Because guess what! This is such a coincidence because I am a certified minister! *flips out certificate*

BOMBY: *jumps for joy* I'm getting married! This is the happiest day of my life.

Bomby and Avril are getting married and Guy, who conveniently happens to be a minister, is going to marry the young, unusual couple.


GUY: *hums* Dum dum da dum, dum dum da dum... (wedding march fyi)

AVRIL: (walking down the bus aisle and wearing a white napkin as a veil) I'm geting married! sure, he's not perfect.... or, um, human... but who cares! I love him and that's what matters in the end. *checks watch* Shit! *RUNS down aisle* He's exploding in one hour!

BOMBY: *nervously wipes his spherical face with a tissue* Avril looks so lovely... but I wish she'd walk faster...


Avril finally makes it to the 'alter' that is really the bus's steering wheel and the wedding gets underway...


SIDENOTE: Um, have I ever mentioned whether there were any other passengers on this bus? no? well there are now, because, after all, this is FICTION PEOPLE!


In the background a string quartet was starting up.They were on the bus because they were on their way to a string ensemble conference, when the bus was hijacked. The quartet were very excellent. They played a symphonic version of 'Sugar We're Going Down' by Fall Out Boy [They go by the name of the Angry String Quartet, or just The String Quartet and they are exceptional at covering punk and rock albums... /random


AVRIL: My favourite song in symphonic form! how did you know!?

BOMBY: I *cough* read-your-diary *cough*

AVRIL: What was that? Oh it doesn't matter, we're getting married!

[insert marriage ceremony here, do you take him, do you take her, yada yada yada...]

GUY: I now pronounce you, Bomb and Wife! you may- somehow, kiss the bride!...

That's all there is for WFAB atm I'm afraid. But if it does somehow get popular and there is an unusual demand I might find some time to keep it going...

[Kaity]

that was soooo random... hahah

[Prudence]

haha i know, i should put like a disclaimer up the top saying how its random and not realisitic in any way....

i did warn about our sense of humour though

the funny thing is when we were writing it we were going to make her end up with the Man/Guy but though the bomb would be funnier and more random...

[Kaity]

and that you do not promote bombs in anyway..

bomby :P

[Avril 41]

weird but funny haha kool

[Prudence]

lmao no i do not promote bombs or anything else in that nature.

bombs are bad, very bad.

Bomby (bless his soul) his just one of a kind and a nice...talking bomb thats all

[Kaity]

maybe prudence is into pirotechnics.. mwahahha

[Prudence]

.......*shifty eyes*