Several Ways To Die Trying

[rockpit]

Preface - Sort of.


Oh, shit. Fuck! No, this cannot be happening. No, oh God, no. I still have a lot of things to do with my life. I want a fucking family, for God's sake! I want to go to New York, London, Paris. I - oh my God, I haven't even said good-bye to my family, my friends. And now... And now I'm about to die.

If you think that's what I was thinking when the car I was in went off the road and crashed into the woods, then think again. If you were told that this is what goes on inside the head of a person who thinks he's about to die on an accident, you were told bullshit.

Even with my alcohol level way above the limit imposed by the government to vehicle drivers, I wasn't thinking about any of those precious things. Not even slightly. I didn't drive - in case you cared enough to bother asking yourself - because I didn't have a driver's license yet, but my newly found friend, Peter, did, and he was way drunker than I was. And that night, he had smoked pot.

I have always thought that the best part of one's life was childhood. I haven't changed my mind. Let's face it - adulthood sucks. When I was only a little kid, all I did was wake up, mess around, eat, play, mess, eat again, play some more, eat some more, mess up, sleep. The good old days were gone. Life takes away your innocence as you grow old. Obbligations and responsibilities arise. Less time to enjoy yourself and appreciate life is what you get. The moment you get responsibility thrown right at your face, the moment they put you in charge of something, the moment you have to decide between two choices - those are the first signs that you're fucked up. Your life is destined to be in a pool of shit, full of invisible arms trying to drown you. Fact is, a bloody little boy can make as many mistakes as he wishes, and get away with it. A grown up won't - not from himself.
That's what I would have thought later. Right now, all I was thinking, or thought I was thinking, was one thing. Okay, two things, but they count up as one.

This is my story. My life. Be warned. It's not all smiles and laughters.

[Seyary_Minamoto]

I understand it. It makes a lot of sense to me. Wanna hear the worst part? I feel the same

very very insightful.Ive bin in 9 car crashes.......i cant remember what i was thinkin the 1st few times, but the last time, this year, i remeber thinking

"Oh for fuck sake. Not again!"

[Vintage Disposition]

Intense. Me likes it. When I think I'm gonna fall or trip from a high place or just do something that'll send me to the hospital, I think of things like that and how it would effect my family if I didn't come out soon or something went way wrong.

To think - all those thoughts go through your head in a matter of nano-seconds. The human mind is incredible.

[missdaydreamer]

^but do you ever wonder what goes through a cow's mind?

[Liqaa']

I like it. Keep going.

[Josh]

Keep goin, man!

[rockpit]

Alex and Julie were three hours late. That meant that I, consequently, was already late for work. We had planned a little reunion at my place—meeting was at three thirty—and they arrived at half past fucking six.

“Where the fuck have you two been?” I asked with an apprehensive voice and a smile on my face, eager not to let them know I was slightly pissed. I’ve always had punctuality issues with my friends. Why do I have to be the only one always on time?

“We—,” Alex started, his voice suffocated by Julie's laughter. They were still on Alex’s red motorcycle.

“What?” I said.

“We had some trouble finding this goddamn place.” he finally said, voice louder than the usual to make himself heard over Julie's giggles. “We got lost. This place is so out of nowhere, man!” The accent on the word so was very noticeable.

I sighed. “So much for me writing the indications for you as clear as I possibly could.” My house is almost literally in the middle of nowhere so I had written them every possible way to get to the place. It’s either they’re too dumb or I’m just not ready to write a book entitled “How To Get There” yet.

“Sorry, Jed,” Julie heartily said, as she jumped off the crimson vehicle. “So, where are we staying in for the night?”

Julie was petite, but managed to have a quite fit body, or at least that’s what you thought when you saw her with clothes on. We had known each other for almost three years now, and I liked having her around. Too bad Julie had moved to Perugia to pursue her dream on becoming a vet; she was my alcohol companion—the one I had sung and danced along with during wild drunken nights. She was my little sweetheart.

A lot had changed in Julie. She was this punk chick with Rasta dreadlocks when we first met. Baggy pants, oversized sweaters, and a bandana to hold her almost butt length hair up were her everyday outfit. Now, in her almost ordinary clothes, she looked beautiful—not umbrella beautiful, but flower beautiful. It was the hair, though, that made the effect. In more than two years of friendship, I had seen Julie only once without her locks—she got sick of them eventually, and I didn’t blame her—and, unless Julie decided to look completely hideous and grow normal hair first before cutting her dreadlocks, she had short hair that I didn’t completely like. It made her look older than her twenty years. The Julie I was talking to now was a pretty young woman, ready to break even more hearts than she already had.

“I’ll take you there right now, and then I’ll leave you coz I’m fucking late for work, thanks to you two,” I provoked.

“Okay, okay, now calm down, mate,” Alex started. “We already said we’re sorry.”

“Actually, Julie said she’s sorry.” I felt somehow guilty right after I said that. I wanted to make it up to Alex, so, moving my hand in the air as if to send a fly way from me, I said, “Never mind, it doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done, right? Let’s get going before I get fired.” I managed to make a sincere smile; we didn’t need a fight. I didn't need another fight. My life was already complicated enough that I was convinced I wouldn't be able to take another problem in.

I started making my way through the hostel’s sandy parking lot, the guys strolling behind me with their stuff. Suddenly, I heard Alex cursing. I stopped walking and turned to see what the fuss was all about. Apparently, his oh-so precious toy didn’t survive the sand attack on their way here.

“Great. Just great!” he bellowed, as he searched the whole motorcycle for dirty spots.

“Come on, Alex. You can deal with it later. Let’s get your stuff in the house first,” I said. One problem at a time.

He seemed to have understood what I meant, and finally let go. He was usually a pain in the ass, but this time he – I don’t know – controlled himself. Good. Cookie points for Alex.

July was running inexplicably fast, but the heat couldn’t care less; I was heavily sweating down the back of my spine, what with having to wear blue long sleeves under my black T-shirt—I agree when they say dark colours absorb heat faster and in more quantity than light colors. One of the inconveniences in life--work.

I stopped in front of a brown painted oak door, one hand searching for the apartment keys, hidden some-where in my pocket, the other one handling flip flops and bottles of water in two different plastic bags. The sun was slowly setting down. It beamed us with its weakening rays, painting the sky orange and making optical illusions over the vineyard landscape. I could - and would - have stayed there, watching it rest after towering over everyone all day. But I had other things to do for now. And relaxing was definitely not one of those.

“So here’s where we’re bunking in for tonight,” I said, as I put the key into the semi-destructed door’s keyhole. The hostel’s apartments were built in the late 1800’s. That tells you a lot. “This is the kitchen, slash dining room, slash living room. The bathroom’s right there, and there’s two bedrooms, one here and the other one over there.” I pointed at each door while describing them to my friends.

“Cool,” Julie exclaimed.

“It’s not that big, but the I think five of us will fit in just fine,” I said.




Continues...