FFC ''When love gets complicated''

[sinead1989]

story in next post, forgot to highlight this one ha

[sinead1989]

wow im such an idiot, i forgot to highlight it and space it out, my laptop is also a piece of crap, so i can't edit it , cos its too slow ha, so here is the edited verison

As I lay there in my bed, all I could think of was how annoying my boyfriend had been getting lately. I mean we used to have so much fun together, no arguments, nothing. Neither of us ever even had a bad word to say about one another. It was always just me and Ryan, nobody else, there wasn’t anybody in the world who could set us apart. Until about two weeks ago when Ryan made all these new ‘cool’ friends, well so he calls them, I don’t think they are in any way cool, they’re all horrible people who turn Ryan into something he is not. He feels as if he has to impress them to be their friends, I totally hate my life right now, three weeks ago I was the happiest girl in the world with the best boyfriend anybody could ever ask for, but now, I wouldn’t say I’m the most depressed girl or anything but I’m certainly not the same one I was three weeks ago, and my best boyfriend anybody could ever ask for, well he is far from that. There used to only ever be one side of Ryan, the loving , caring and adorable boy that I know he is, but now there is that Ryan but also the one who turns into somebody else round everyone else.

I’m actually going completely crazy here, I text Ryan about an hour ago, asking him to come over because I need to talk. Am I totally stupid? What if I say how I feel and he breaks up with me? I don’t think I could deal with that, my heart would be completely crushed. I know, I know I’ve been complaining about Ryan constantly as of late, but its only because of how he acts around everybody else , when it is just the two of us, he is still the same old Ryan, the same boy that I cant bare to lose and now he is on his way over here expecting that I have something to tell him?, Well I do have something to tell him, but I’m getting a bit nervous about it. What should I do? Stupid piece of paper , why the hell can’t you have ears to listen and a mouth to talk back and give me advice?

Ryan has just left, I’m utterly devastated he broke up with me, apparently I’m a ‘’psycho girlfriend’’ and I need to let him ‘’have fun with his friends’’. God that boy is so irritating, yet here I am, with floods of tears coming from my eyes over him. I can’t let this be the end, I won’t let this be the end. First let me tell you what happened. He came round, and I could tell the look of worry on his face thinking I was breaking up with him, but why the look of worry when after it he broke up with me? Anyways back to point, I told him that I didn’t like how he acted or treated me around his friends and how he is completely different when we’re alone. Well, I more so yelled at him than tell him. So he says back ‘’Chill out whatcha yelling’ for?’’ , at this point I could tell he was angry now and not the same worried boy that he was when he walked in the door. I could only reply by telling him ‘’I see the way you’re acting like you’re somebody else gets me frustrated’’. Now, he was furious, I guess he didn’t like being confronted about trying to be something he wasn’t, he went off on a big rant about how I always had to make things so complicated, and that’s when he did it, when he ripped my heart out and made it feel like it was a zillion pieces, he just screamed ‘’we’re done’’ and walked out before I could respond. If only I could pour my heart and soul out like this to a person other than a piece of paper perhaps I could get some advice on what to do, but I’m way to embarrassed to seek help from anybody else right now.

Operation get Ryan back started today. I felt he needed about a week of cooling off time before I made my move, so I gave him that. First off, I sent him a text message saying ‘’promise me I’m never going to find you fake it’’ , it was the same text he had sent me a few months back when we had started dating because his ex girlfriend had totally turned into something she wasn’t and that’s how there relationship ended. I guess that hit his sore spot, cos he sent a message back apologizing for everything, the text read ‘’Emma, I really am so sorry, those guys are jerks, I should have listened to you, I wasn’t being myself, I turned into something I’ve never wanted to be, and everything screwed up in the end because I ended up losing the best thing that had ever happened to me….you’’. After reading that text, I couldn’t help but wipe the smile off myself, I wanted Ryan back more than anything I really did, but now I had realised I had him eating out of the palm of my hand, I figured I’d give him some payback for what he put me through and then eventually we’d get back together.

Operation payback time was today. Myself and Ryan had arranged a little get together to go out for dinner. We first laid eyes on one another in over a week just outside the restaurant, he came over and tried to give me a kiss, but I turned my head away and said ‘’hold up, do you not remember, we’re done’’, his smile he had ten seconds ago, suddenly turned to what looked like heart ache. I don’t know why, but I felt so happy at his sadness, I guess I was just ecstatic that now he was finally feeling what I did that day he broke my heart. He looked up at me and said , ‘’Emma, I’m really sorry, please forgive me, I…I…I….’’, ‘’You what’’ I said. I knew what he was going to say, well I didn’t know, but I pretty much had it guessed, he was going to tell me he loved me, the reason he had such a hard time saying it was because we have never said it to eachother before. ‘’I….it doesn’t matter’’ he responded. I was so disappointed, here I was thinking he was about to declare his love for me and it ‘’doesn’t matter???’’ , I was actually pissed off now, and it got me thinking, could me and Ryan actually go back to how we used to be, after so much had happened? I was having second thoughts about getting back together with him now but still I thought we should have dinner anyways since we were already here.

So today was the day after dinner, and after thinking yesterday how I didn’t know if me and Ryan could be together, I had finally come to my senses again, and realised, I can’t live without him. I also however, just wanted him to tell me he loved me already, come on, its been months since we first got together and I know he loves me , I just know it. There was one problem though on my mission to get Ryan back. We hadn’t spoken all day, I guess after yesterday he must have gotten so fed up with me, and decided we’re over for good. I began to curl up and become this big ball of emotion , I didn’t know when I would stop crying, I didn’t know if I would ever stop crying, and then. .’’uh huh, lifes like this, uh huh uh huh, that’s the way it is, Cause lifes like this, uh huh, uh huh, that’s the way it is’’ , it was my phone, my phone was ringing, I looked at the name appearing on my screen, Oh my god, it was Ryan, he still loves me I thought, don’t blow it this time I said to myself.

‘’Hello Ryan’’, ‘’Hello Emma’’ he replied, ‘’So whats up, what are you calling me for?’’ Ryan then stuttered constantly for a minute, and finally blurted out ‘’Well, remember yesterday, when I had something to tell you but then I said to forget it’’ , ‘’yeah?’’ I said, I mean how could I forget, I only had my hopes up to be left completely disappointed, ‘’well first’’ he said, and then continued ‘’can you promise me I’m never going to find you fake it’’, ‘’Of course, I’ll always be me, and only me, there is nothing else I’ll ever be’’ , we both laughed, somehow we always thought it was hilarious if either of us rhymed without meaning to. ‘’Well, continue with what you were about to say’’ I said abruptly, I know it was rude, but I really couldn’t wait for him to say what he was going to say, I was so anxious to know, yesterday I thought he was going to tell me her loved me, but to be honest, now, I really didn’t know what he was going to say. He then said ‘’Secondly before I get to my third and last thing which was what I wanted to say yesterday , will you be my girlfriend again’’, ‘’YES’’ I shrieked, I didn’t want to show my excitement to much, but I knew he could tell. ‘’And lastly’’ I said, ‘’Lastly, Emma, I really don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to go right ahead and this’’ , ‘’Go on’’ I said, the anxiety was killing me. ‘’Lastly Emma, I Love you’’, I knew it, I was off in my own world smiling to myself, totally forgetting about Ryan on the other line until I heard ‘’Emma, Emma? Are you there? Oh my god I’m so sorry if I freaked you out, I just, I just’’ , ‘’Shut up’’ I said interrupting him before he could finish his sentence ‘’I love you tooRyan’’

[Melody Moonwalk]

That's amazingg Love ittt!

[sweety7852000]

Told ya I'd post... I love this story Sinead!!!

[Melody Moonwalk]

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