04-15-2008, 03:34 PM
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#16 (permalink)
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Here I am! I just read it, so don't worry! I'm reading now!
And... I take it you're doing flasbacks and stuff, right? It would be a nice favour if whenever you go back on time you but it on Italics just to avoid some confusion. Just a little advise 
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04-15-2008, 05:14 PM
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#17 (permalink)
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I glad you're reading 
But I have to disagree with you, the whole idea of the flashback is that you don't know it's a flashback at first, therefore you're confused. This isn't supposed to be a bad thing though. As you only find out it's in the past when he says "And you're two months pregnant". Think of it like Lost, they don't make it obvious that it's a flashback or flash to the future. They just show you whats happening, and a certain piece of information will give it away. But they're not always going to say like "2 years in the past..." or whatever. I think putting it in italics may give slightly the wrong impression, as italics are used alot for when thoughts are written, and also to show different tones of voice.
Yeah?
I prefer my style, thanks for the advise anyway, I appreciate it. But unfortunately not going to act upon it 
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04-16-2008, 08:32 AM
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#18 (permalink)
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I've decided to split today's update into two  Seeing as I havn't had many cliffhangers. And this'll be a good one.  Next update will be this evening
chris
The volume of a buzzing noise was slowly increasing as the vibrations get more intense. Cracks begin to appear in the windows of the plane, horrified passengers scream in fear, “What the hell’s happening?!” No one, not even the flight crew, knew what was going wrong with the plane. I can now feel the plane plummeting toward the ground.
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04-16-2008, 05:21 PM
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#19 (permalink)
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chris
I woke up to see passengers slowly making their way off the plane, realising that the whole thing was a dream. Faye was waiting for me at the airport, I was happy to see her. She ran up to me and hugged me, dropping my bag, I rapped my arms around her and kissed her.
The romance didn’t last long as we both then remembered why were even back in Canada; we then made our way to her parents’ place and had a pretty argumentative talk with her father. A brief summary of the conversation only needing to consist of, “You couldn’t do it when you were a child, how are going to do it now?!” If I’m honest, I think her father is retarded. When Faye was a child she dropped her baby sister, Faye was only four years old, she didn’t know what she was doing. But her father hasn’t trusted her ever since, and Faye hasn’t gotten on with him ever since either.
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04-17-2008, 03:45 PM
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#20 (permalink)
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Goodbye Fan Fiction?
chris
“Move! Agh! Come on get out fucking the way!” I was screaming at the slow moving traffic as we rushed to the hospital, Faye groaned, “Chris calm down.” “Calm down?! I don’t want our children to be born in a car!” I was talking in a high pitched voice, not realising it; Faye then said, again groaning, “Births can take hours, there’s no rush.”
A couple of hours later a new member of the Bennington family had been brought into the world, I held her in my arms. So tiny she could fit inside my pocket. She slowly opens her beautiful blue eyes to see the world which greets her with a cold April morning. After only a few minutes of holding her I knew what her name was. “Sierra… Sierra Bennington.” I said, smiling. My mind then drifted back to reality and I looked up to see Faye talking to me. “Isn’t she beautiful? I already thought of a name.” Faye had a grin on her face, “Abigail” I was still in a daze whilst staring at Sierra. “That’s great.” Faye could tell I wasn’t really listening, “Chris, have you got a name for her yet?” I spoke in a soft quiet voice, as if not to wake a sleeping baby, “Sierra April Bennington.”
“That’s such a beautiful name. Aww. This little one here is called Abigail Gemma Bennington.”
Two days later we took the twins home. Everything was fine, until about 2AM. The children were asleep. The rain was pouring down outside, me and Faye were cuddled up on the couch. I turned to Faye to see she was extremely pale, so I asked, “Whoa, Faye is you okay?” She looked at me in confusion, “Yeah, I’m fine…” I replied informingly, “You look pale, as if you’re ill…” She still looked confused, and just said nothing. About a half hour later, Faye also realised something was wrong. She didn’t know what, but she knew it was serious, “Chris we need to get to the hospital, now!” I quickly ran to our neighbour’s house and asked her to watch the kids, which she did willingly, despite being woken up at half two in the morning. Before getting in the car Faye stopped for a moment, I could tell something was seriously wrong, considering she wasn’t hurrying to get out of the rain. She leaned against the door as she slowly began to slide down. Calling out for me I ran to her, and helped her up. She then collapsed and was lying on the ground next to the car. I quickly called an ambulance before taking any action; I then took her inside the house. The sound of the ambulance gradually built whilst also creating suspense, in the still wet night sounds could travel miles. It seemed like hours before the paramedics arrived; but it was only a few minutes. By the time I had heard the ambulance pull up outside, I couldn’t feel Faye’s pulse. I ran to them with a face full of tears and they rushed straight past me to Faye. “Is she gunna be okay?!”
This is my last post. I'm bored of writing this. And I don't have enough readers. Don't consider this story unfinished, because it does have an ending, I just didn't want to write it very clearly. I'm sure it's clear enough though... And plus not writing clearly also gives me the opotunity to come back to this if I want to. Which I doubt.
So erm yeahh, BYE. 

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04-17-2008, 04:10 PM
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#21 (permalink)
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*Punches Chris in the arm* I LIKE THIS STORY! AHHHHHH! You made me mad! I wanna keep reading.....
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(Thanks to Quarter of Delirium*Nat* For my new sig!)
Jeanna_Kay, Av-Lav, and xKissMySassx are my daughters!
Young And Hopeless is my Mom, Emo Sausage is my Dad.
My brothers and sisters are: Yiota, hotrunaway, Seyary_Minamoto, Coke_Gurl, Far Away, Havril!, Avril Misery, and .omgpinkk-
My Aunts are: Quarter of Delirium, Morenor, and Avrilpink
and my Great Grandma is 3.1415926
sk8ergirl92696 is my baby sister.
Go read Welcome to my life in the fanfics.
Also check out Trial and Error...
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04-17-2008, 04:12 PM
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#22 (permalink)
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04-17-2008, 04:25 PM
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#23 (permalink)
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Aw... so bad... I was getting into it... but the last updates were awesome
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Member of the Kool Krew Member of the BANDAIDS TWITS!!!!!!!!!!!! Laila, Angie and Remco are my cool killing partners!!!! NOW A HAPPY MEMBER OF THE D.A.!!! IM HAPPY POTTERIZED BLEND MADE BY MORENOR!!! YOU ROCK, GIRL! My kids are: Innocence, rocksteady, globetrotter, made5wishes and Contagious Immunity OKAY!!! This is my family number 1: Mother: xxLeilaxx Sisters: Sara, Kelly, Amanda, Mari, Charleen, Mallori, Becca Family number 2: Mother: Once A Heavenly Creature Father: Running With Scissors Brother(by | |