Break The Silence - Avril Lavigne Bandaids: The Best Damn Avril Lavigne Fansite

angie17 · 05-04-2008, 10:34 AM

Here is a new story, tell me if I should continue...

“Avril, honey, are you ready? Our cab is already waiting outside..” , Rich asked me and he sounded slightly annoyed, as most of the time. How I hated it when he gave me such names..

I hated it so much because I knew he didn’t mean it. He wasn’t a nice guy and had never been one of that kind. All that mattered to him was his money, his company and his business partners. He had never cared much for me. To him I was just a nice accessory that he could brag with in front of his friends. Sometimes I wished he would suffocate in all his money, he would have deserved it.

We had gotten married 5 years before and I couldn’t even remember why. Probably he pretended to be a charming guy who could offer me a good life and probably I fell for that back then, no big miracle, I had only been 19 back then and he had inherited his father’s business at the age of 25.

Whenever I looked through the wedding album now it all felt like a lie. It was true, we had a huge house and a lot of money but it was fake to me. Nobody really knew what Rich was like to be with as a person. The first weeks after we had got married had been great, but then the nightmare started…

Every time we were out together at dinner with his so called friends he acted as if we were the perfect couple and I played that role very well, always smiling, never saying too much, but inside of me it looked totally different. Rich totally had control over me and over everything I was doing. The reason why I wasn’t talking that much was because I was afraid of him, afraid I could say something wrong that would get him mad.

It was always the same: To others he seemed like a smart business guy, as soon as we were alone everything was different. Whenever I had done or said something that he considered to be wrong I had to pay for it, either he screamed at me and told me how lucky I was that I had him because no one else would want me or he pushed me so long until I was on the ground and then he shouted at me how stupid I was that I couldn’t do a thing right.

Almost every night I lay in bed, crying without a sound so to not wake him and get him mad again…

I couldn’t believe I had been able to live like that for so long and that I had never dared to say a word to anyone but he totally had me under control. It seemed to me the more I showed that I was afraid the more he enjoyed it.

To our wedding day he had bought tickets for a cruise on a luxury liner and today was the day we were supposed to get onto the ship, which was the reason why there was a cab waiting in front of our house.

“I’m coming, I just need to get my luggage downstairs”, I said with a fake voice, pretending to be happy. I had no idea why he had bought the tickets in the first place. Probably he just wanted to brag again with his money and his good looking wife.

To be honest, I wasn’t very excited about this whole journey, I knew what it would be like and I knew how much it would pain me to see other couples that very really happy.

I had never known how love really felt, I had never really been in love and sometimes I wondered what it had to be like but I couldn’t imagine it.
At some point in life when you know that will never get better you begin to accept it, as strange as it may sound. But if you can’t deny it you will break. And I didn’t want to break.