Post Secret

[Lewymocha Original]

I know that but the key word there is "Tried". I dont know.

I have a feeling she is ok

[O Captain My Captain]

Ok. So this is more of a rant than anything, but I suppose it could also be considered a post secret so I'm posting it here.

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You know, I like you. I do. I think you DO try, in a way, and, considering your situation, up until now you've been getting by just fine.

But, oh my god. I've never been one to say that suicide is selfish, but right now I have to say it: what you did was selfish. Ok, you're dad did an awful thing. He broke your fingers and severely bruised your legs, and that has to be pretty damn awful considering that he's your father. But you took a handful of pills, and then you just came on and said goodbye. You know, that really kills the people that care about you. But, I could almost deal with that, if you didn't have a 3-year-old son.

Do you know what's going to happen? I don't think you do, so let me explain. Since you DID go to the hospital, they're going to ge a profile on you. When they see that you have a son, they're going to say that you're unable to take care of him right now, and they'll take him away from you. The problem is, they won't know where to take him. They'll probably give him to your mom, but she won't be able to take care of him forever. You'll get a social worker. He'll get thrown from home to home, and you won't be able to see him anymore. Well, at least not very much. There'll be a custody battle. What if your mom wants him? What if you're deemed unable to take care of him? He's going to ge thrown around, and then he won't know who to call mommy anymore. He may be put into a foster home. He'll completely lose any sense of a stable life. That little, happy boy may become quiet and withdrawn, and he's only three. What about when he gets older, and starts to understand? Oh, I bet he'll be wondering why his mommy did that. Is it because she doesn't love him? Well, if his own mother can't love him, how can he love himself?

And what if you had succeeded? Well, then you would have successfully managed to make your child an orphan. He REALLY would have been thrown from home to home. He would've been put into foster care at the tender age of three. Your mom would have had to fight for custody of him. What is she lost? Well, they'd just keep throwing him around, and suddenly, just like that, that mommy that he loved with all his heart would be gone, and at the tender age of three he'll have to go through a mourning process. He'll wonder if it was HIM, because that's what kids to. And, all this time, he'll be thrown from foster home to foster home, while his grandma struggles to get custody of him. Growing up, he'll be the only kid that doesn't have anyone to call mommy and daddy. He won't have a normal life. That would have cost him his childhood, and he would be miserable.

But you didn't consider that, did you? No, apparently not. Look, your dad did an awful thing, and you have a right to be beyond upset. But I don't think that is any excuse. You may not see it now, but you don't know what you've done to your son. They're going to say that you're not fit to take care of him, and he'll be gone. You'll get a social worker. You can't do things like this. I'm sorry. I know you have it hard, but you have to think about the consequences of your actions. You're a mother now, and you need to be strong. You need to think. Period. This isn't just about you anymore.

[Haaave ya met Josh?]

Yeah, I hope Claudia is OK... she hasn't been on myspace since the 31st either. I just really hope she's OK. *happy thoughts*

Amy,

I hope your friend (?) will be OK, and that she considers what you just wrote here... you are going to tell her, right?
I'm sure she cares a lot about her son, but wasn't thinking clearly. Show her that you're there for her and that you care and tell her everything you just wrote here. Hopefully she'll understand.

I know you didn't ask for any advice, I just thought I'd put that out there.

[O Captain My Captain]

I don't really know her that well... so, I mean, it would be kind of awkward if I told her simply because we're not close enough. Idk. I was just maddd.

[Haaave ya met Josh?]

Oh. I thought you were good friends or something. My bad.

[O Captain My Captain]

Ok, since you guys are completely uneducated on the way post secret is viewed from the rest of the interweb, I am going to introduce a new idea. You see, this wasn't me being original. At all. And this is the way a lot of other people do it. I can only hope that some of you have seen these before.

Btw, some of these are mine, some aren't. Sorry if it stretches.

[take.my.soul]

My secert is that i am scared of life.. i am scared to have a good time.
I hate valitines cuz nothing good happens to me.
Everything bad happens on that day...

My other secert is that im in love with someone that will never love me back