Sorry Girls, Katy Perry Is Engaged
"Credit where credit’s due - for a one-hit wonder, Katy Perry’s awfully good at staying in the news, isn’t she?
This time, Katy Perry has managed to sneak back into the headlines for possibly getting engaged to her boyfriend Travis McCoy. Possibly, you understand - nobody knows for sure, making them the Jay-Z and Beyonce that nobody gives a stuff about.
Strangely, this engagement coincides with that Katy Perry pop video that’s all about her wedding, showing the extent that Katy Perry pop videos can foretell the future. So fingers crossed that her next video involves her retiring from music while she’s still got some dignity left.
Katy Perry knows the value of a good shock tactic. She shot to fame with a gender-bending song about kissing girls, then she dicked about with a knife until the press spluttered into its tea and made her apologise. And her new single’s entitled Hot N Cold, which is dangerous and shocking because it’s about how Katy Perry thinks the lack of temperature regulation in menopausal women is hilarious. Or something. Look, we don’t bloody know.
And now Katy Perry is ready to reveal her most shocking stunt yet - she’s getting married. To a boy. Possibly. We’re not accepting it as fact yet because Katy Perry hasn’t officially confirmed it yet. However, sources inside of Katy Perry’s mouth seem to think that it’s pretty much a done deal, as MTV reports:
"Rumours in the New York Daily News claim that her boyfriend, Gym Class Heroes lead singer Travis McCoy Katy and Travis have been dating since last year and it seems Travis has popped the big question on a recent visit to the romantic city of Paris. Reports claim that on a recent visit to the French capital, McCoy kissed Perry with a diamond ring in his mouth which led to the proposal."
Ah, the old ’saliva-coated choking hazard’ proposal technique - is there anything as romantic? No there isn’t. Unless you count putting an engagement ring up your bum and then farting it into your girlfriend’s eye, but that has problems of its own. We won’t be doing that again, no sirree.
But still, cynics that we are, we’re still over the moon for Katy Perry and Travis McCoy from Gym Class Heroes. Fingers crossed that they hurry up the aisle as soon as possible, because that way they’ll finally get to achieve their dream of becoming a one-and-a-half hit family.
However, we can’t help feeling that marriage and domestic happiness will hurt Katy Perry’s credibility as an edgy songwriter in performer. It’s all very well her singing songs about kissing girls and whatnot now, but in a couple of years when she’s faced with the back to back failure of her singles I Went To Habitat And I Liked It and I Found A Smashing Three For Two Deal On Yogurts At Morrisons And I Liked It, there’s a chance that Katy Perry might regret her decision."
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