Everything started in first grade. Every one and each of us, girls, had a so called best friend who they were playing with in the school breaks between classes and were making the science project with. My then best friend was, in documents, Ariana, or how I liked to call her, Ari.
She was funny, pretty and she understood me, so we got well with eachother pretty fast. I liked spending time with her. Since I started school and I met everyone and said "Hi, I'm Diddy.", she chose me and I chose her.
And everything seemed to be perfect.
But there was this other girl, who I didn't even know why, but she always wanted to be my friend. Desperately. She was coming with me everywhere, she was getting upset when I was choosing Ari over her, because, afterall, my true friend was Ari. The girl with blonde curls and good-smelling clothes from America was called... Lisa.
After a long fight, Lisa got to come between me and Ari, and I think that happened in second grade. All three of us started hanging out together, like we were a "trio". Our favorite game was pretending to be mermaids... in the air... in the school garden.
We all got along very well.
But... There was this moment when something went wrong.
Like a silly jealous secondgrader, Lisa was always pulling me in her side, making me get away of my true friend, who was Ari. She was pulling me so hard, that one day, I didn't even get to say anything about it at all. She was copying the homework from me, or even I had to do it for her and pretend that she did it, putting our friendship on the table, saying "If you're not doing this then we're not friends anymore.".
Me, like a stupid puppy listening to its cruel owner, I did everything she asked me to, for my "dear" friend, Lisa.
What I couldn't see then is that my real friend, who has always been there for me until the day I switched her to a sneaky bitch who confused me with a puppy, Ari, was getting away from me and from us, more and more day by day...
I didn't even notice. Nor did I care. Everything that I wanted was to be near Lisa, and that she, in a way, would be "proud" of what a friend she has.
Everything went out of my control. I was falling apart from myself more and more each day. I was becoming a slave, without even realizing it. I was that blind and stupid that I never even realized how my real friends (cause Ari was not my only friend before) were walking away from me. And most important, one single person was running away from me like hell, and that was, surprisingly, myself. If I looked in the mirror, I wouldn't have recognized myself. But I never even bothered to look, I had my eyes too dry and tired.
You would have asked me what kind of music I like? I didn't know what kind of music I liked. I only knew what she liked, and that was what I was supposed to like too.
What was my opinion on other people? I didn't know. I couldn't face it even only for myself in my own thoughts. I was supposed to agree with every single thing she was saying.
A person is supposed to have their own opinion and should be honest at least to theirselves. But in my case, this changed a looooong time ago...
Lisa was treating me worse and worse, like I'd be a trashcan. I totally deserved it, at how stupid I was. But still...
At one moment, she wasn't treating me neither in the worst way a friend could be treated. But yeah, I was stupidly thinking that I couldn't have a better friend. Why? Because it's all I knew, all I could know.
I had a so good friend that one day, she tossed me in the trash like I'd be something useless and pointless that should immediately be tossed in the trash.
(This is only the beginning of the story. Should I keep going?)