A long way to go [part 2]

[Nimbus Pixie]

WOW!

[Morenor]

Mommy, there is something that is called awesome writing and you do that BIG TIME !!!

Just completly awesomness

[Vampire Welfare Queen]

Hey, Av... AV! If you really want to hide your stomach and swim, wear a one-piece swimsuit!

Haha, cute update.

[Morenor]

^ Just thinking the same..

[bunny]

wait and see

[pigster]

WOW!!! THATS CUTE!

[bunny]

please have some respect and give me some time to write updates, it may take a little longer then your used to. But let me take my time

[Morenor]

Yay you are back online mom.. I updated Check it out !! And I'm gonna stay patience for your update... *waits *

[littlebaby91]

waiting for your update... *waiting* *waiting* *waiting*

[bunny]

update is on the way

[avrilrocks4lyf]

woooo yay

[bunny]

In the bath room I looked at the mirror. It was in the middle of the night. I was happily engaged and more then in love. But there was something else. Something biting hard at me. My eyes looked tired and my hair was one big mess. My eyes went down and looked at my shirt and underwear. Again I looked at the mirror and turned on a little light. Now I had a little better look at myself. A smile came a cross my face. I turned of my shirt and looked at my body. The smile didn’t leave my face. Even when I looked at the scars on my belly, I kept the smile. With my hand I touched them, But nothing came in me then pure happiness. The knife in my hand was cold and rusted. What was I thinking, when I got the knife in my hands the first time? It would make things easier? That plain would go away? Yes it made things easier, and yes the pain was out of me. But for how long? So many times I have had this knife in my hand and pushed it through my skin. And why? This question was so hard to answer. And this was the first time I really wanted to know why I started it. But I couldn’t remember the first time I had cutting myself. It was such a long time ago, I don’t even remember when it was. I took my shirt from the floor pulled it back on and took the knife with me. After some doors and finally good outside. It was dark, but I knew how to walk to the sea. After a few minutes I got to the place I wanted to be. I had spent there many nights, just thinking and looking at the beautiful sea. The moon was so pretty, the sea was so calm. My feet where in the water. I did had it cold. The only thing I was wearing was my underwear and shirt. My hand was shacking while looking at the knife in it. Strong I squeezed in it. It was hard for me to do this, since it had been a part of me for so long. My eyes looked at the sea. People would understand it if I would cry now. But somehow I felt stronger then I had ever been. This wasn’t something I wanted to do, but something I had to do. I needed to let go of something I though I could control. Meanwhile it was controlling me. For so long I had been holding on to this. But why? It never made me any more happy. My arm went to the back, with a strong arm I through the knife in the sea. It was gone, everything. The feelings the cutting and the knife. It was past now. It’s time to open my eyes and look at the world with different eyes. Tears run down my face, tears of happiness. It was over, everything was going to change. Never ever again I want to take a knife and put it in my skin. Never ever again I want to go so far that up was in my eyes the only way out. Never again I want to be that person, the person I hate and the person I am afraid for. And never ever again I wanted to look over my shoulder at the past. Dreaming about tomorrow and leaving yesterday behind me.